This is a tough reading. Christ demands that we give up everything to follow Him. Giving up everything means giving up our right to ourself; our right to ask "what about this?" Abandoning entirely and letting go can be frightening, but I think it gets easier as our trust in Him grows.
In my walk with the Lord, I've found that this abandonment to Him is not a one time transaction, but rather a daily (perhaps hourly)surrendering. I'll be going along thinking I am surrendered and then something will happen and I'll realize I have established an idol that I am reluctant to release. Oswald states "When you do get through to abandonment to God, you will be the most surprised and delighted creature on earth". I believe this to be true and have had glimpses of it in my own life; however, for the most part, I am still growing toward that end!
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I, too, have to work at this minute by minute! It was a revelation to me to realize He wants even my hopes and dreams for my children and family - not just the fears, anxieties and problems. Since we cannot know our own deceitful and desperately wicked hearts, we must, like David ask Him to search us and reveal the hidden sins - areas we are holding out on - so that we can give Him all. What joy is ours when we reliquish, trust and adore the Lover of our souls.
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