Hind sight's 20/20. So many times when we are in the midst of a trial, circumstance, or just "life", we are unable to acknowledge that God is in total control, that He has a purpose for us, and that we are a part of His story.
Miller does an excellent job of sharing a personal story with us in this chapter. He then allows us in on his thought process when he comes to realize that this little trial that he's in is really one of God's stories...a gospel story. One that is "seldom realized".
He takes us on an adventure when he and his autistic daughter, Kim, fly to Florida on a business trip. By doing this, he is trying to give his wife a break, some rest. A lot goes wrong on their trip, mostly because Kim cannot handle the unpredictability and the rush, and she whines and attracts attention to the two of them the whole time. He says at this point, "As I sat there on the plane, frazzled, with Kim melting down next to me, I thought, This was a mistake. I will never do this again. What I didn't realize was that the kingdom had come."
"Later as I reflected on the weekend and on the ways of God, I realized that I was in the middle of one of God's stories. On Saturday, I spoke in front of a crowd who listened to my every word and respected me. When you speak, no matter how hard you try, you are at the center. Even if you are talking about Jesus and how he loves people, as I was, it's tempting to take credit for your speaking.
"However, on Friday I was in front of three different crowds (at the bust stop, in the security line, and on the plane), helpless and embarrassed. I looked inadequate, I felt inadequate, and I was inadequate. God was reminding me of what I am really like. he was preparing my heart on Friday, so I'd not be confused by people's praise on Saturday. I wanted success; he wanted authenticity.
"The Father was taking me on the same downward journey he took his Son. Paul invited the Philippian church to join Jesus, 'who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men' (Philippians 2:6-7). The downward journey is a gospel story."
This story, and many others that Miller has presented in this book, are helpful in remembering each day that it's not about me, it's about loving his people, loving Him, and bringing Him glory.
He must become greater; I must become less. John 3:30.
The Passion of Christ
Today I am going to steer away from the book for just one day since it is such an important and special week in our faith.
This weekend I was blessed to be able to join some ladies in our church in seeing the "Atlanta Passion Play" at the Civic Center. It is put on annually by Charles Stanley's church, First Baptist Church of Atlanta. Click here if you would like to view a clip or two from the play. This year was the 34th year of this incredible production. I encourage anyone who has never been to go next year and I promise you will leave with a better understanding of Jesus' life, ministry, death, and resurrection.
In my discipleship meetings with Vikki, the last book that we studied was the book of John. I learned so much about Jesus in this book. I really enjoyed seeing the events of John's gospel acted out in the play.
An overriding theme that stood out to me when I was studying the gospel of John was Jesus' focus on the Father. His oneness with the Father. His mission to bring glory to the Father. This, of course, stands out in the play also, as well as in our study of this book. (And, if you were at the missions conference at CMPC at all last week, it was also a theme that ran throughout the week.)
Jesus lived on earth in order to bring glory to his Father. His mission was to point people to his Father. And, although, he faced so much opposition, that is what he ultimately did! The beautiful picture that I am remembering now in the play where Jesus ascends into heaven is a picture of victory! His work on earth was done, He stated, "It is finished" (John 19:30), the ultimate sacrifice was made, and He got to be with his Father! We can celebrate this week by remembering, meditating, and celebrating that He is Risen! Praise the Lord!
Chapter 24 ~ Hope: The End Of The Story
I am learning and appreciating so much about the heart of God in our walk through this book. Today, though, I would like to be so bold as to add some things to all that I have read so far that I think are important principles. Then, I’ll try to link them to what I’ve appreciated so much about what I have learned from “A Praying Life” thus far.
In the book, “When I Don’t Desire God”, by John Piper, God showed me that, in my life, I desired God’s good gifts more that I desired God Himself. I have to say, that God has put me through very few trials, but has, on the other hand, given me practically every earthly gift there could be……A husband who loves me, healthy children and grandchildren who have brought us great joy, friends, material blessings, etc. The trouble with pursuing joy in earthly gifts though, is that it leaves us hungry for more – it doesn’t satisfy. God helped me to see that pursing joy in God was what was missing in my life. As Piper put it, “Pursuing joy in God was a non-negotiable way of honoring God. It was essential….my indwelling sin stands in the way of my full satisfaction in God. It opposes and perverts my pursuit of God. It opposes by making other things look more desirable than God. And it perverts by making me think I am pursuing joy in God when, in fact, I am in love with his gifts.” Right here was where I was at – thinking I was pursuing joy in God when, in fact I was in love with his gifts. And, not only was I in love with his gifts, but, my desire was for more and more of them as well. Then he gave me the solution, “God would have to transform my heart to do what a heart cannot make itself do, namely, want what it ought to want. Only God can make the depraved heart desire God.” Okay then, this is what I needed and wanted; for God to transform my heart into one that desired God above his gifts.
Piper, like Paul in his writings, then answers a question before I even knew to ask it. Where then, is the proper place for my enjoyment of God’s gifts? A quote from C.S. Lewis was the answer: “I have tried…to make every pleasure into a channel of adoration. I don’t mean simply by giving thanks for it. One must of course give thanks, but I meant something different…Gratitude exclaims, very properly, ‘How good of God to give me this.’ Adoration says, ‘What must be the quality of that Being whose far-off and momentary coruscations are like this?’ One’s mind runs back up the sunbeam to the sun.”
Lewis’ seeing that the gifts cause our minds to run back up the sunbeam to the sun is the link that I saw between what I discovered months ago in “When I Don’t Desire God” and my study of Miller’s book. In our current chapter he says, “At one camp I remember carrying our four-year-old daughter Courtney in my arms, walking outside into the pitch-black night, and showing her the sky….She was wonder-struck by God’s creation. If you wait, your heavenly Father will pick you up, carry you out into the night, and make your life sparkle.” (In case you don’t know what “coruscation”, the word that C.S. Lewis used above means - and you haven’t had time to look it up yet – it means “sparkle”). “He wants to dazzle you with the wonder of his love.” God wants to dazzle me with the wonder of all of his attributes, his love, his omniscience, his power, his sovereignty, his grace, his mercy, etc., etc. All of God’s divine weaving, the hard things and the easy things, the trials and the blessings, are designed to display his attributes and to point me to the worth of the Designer of them. Then my joy becomes increasingly in Him and not them.
In the book, “When I Don’t Desire God”, by John Piper, God showed me that, in my life, I desired God’s good gifts more that I desired God Himself. I have to say, that God has put me through very few trials, but has, on the other hand, given me practically every earthly gift there could be……A husband who loves me, healthy children and grandchildren who have brought us great joy, friends, material blessings, etc. The trouble with pursuing joy in earthly gifts though, is that it leaves us hungry for more – it doesn’t satisfy. God helped me to see that pursing joy in God was what was missing in my life. As Piper put it, “Pursuing joy in God was a non-negotiable way of honoring God. It was essential….my indwelling sin stands in the way of my full satisfaction in God. It opposes and perverts my pursuit of God. It opposes by making other things look more desirable than God. And it perverts by making me think I am pursuing joy in God when, in fact, I am in love with his gifts.” Right here was where I was at – thinking I was pursuing joy in God when, in fact I was in love with his gifts. And, not only was I in love with his gifts, but, my desire was for more and more of them as well. Then he gave me the solution, “God would have to transform my heart to do what a heart cannot make itself do, namely, want what it ought to want. Only God can make the depraved heart desire God.” Okay then, this is what I needed and wanted; for God to transform my heart into one that desired God above his gifts.
Piper, like Paul in his writings, then answers a question before I even knew to ask it. Where then, is the proper place for my enjoyment of God’s gifts? A quote from C.S. Lewis was the answer: “I have tried…to make every pleasure into a channel of adoration. I don’t mean simply by giving thanks for it. One must of course give thanks, but I meant something different…Gratitude exclaims, very properly, ‘How good of God to give me this.’ Adoration says, ‘What must be the quality of that Being whose far-off and momentary coruscations are like this?’ One’s mind runs back up the sunbeam to the sun.”
Lewis’ seeing that the gifts cause our minds to run back up the sunbeam to the sun is the link that I saw between what I discovered months ago in “When I Don’t Desire God” and my study of Miller’s book. In our current chapter he says, “At one camp I remember carrying our four-year-old daughter Courtney in my arms, walking outside into the pitch-black night, and showing her the sky….She was wonder-struck by God’s creation. If you wait, your heavenly Father will pick you up, carry you out into the night, and make your life sparkle.” (In case you don’t know what “coruscation”, the word that C.S. Lewis used above means - and you haven’t had time to look it up yet – it means “sparkle”). “He wants to dazzle you with the wonder of his love.” God wants to dazzle me with the wonder of all of his attributes, his love, his omniscience, his power, his sovereignty, his grace, his mercy, etc., etc. All of God’s divine weaving, the hard things and the easy things, the trials and the blessings, are designed to display his attributes and to point me to the worth of the Designer of them. Then my joy becomes increasingly in Him and not them.
Chapter 23 ~ Praying Without A Story
I wish I were a journaler. I think that part of the reason that I’m not is because, as you can probably tell from these posts, my thoughts are often all over the place and I have a hard time making them all fit together. This post feels like that even more so because I am going to attempt to express the thoughts and ideas that I have been learning from my study of the book of John in a way that will tie them in with what we are learning in our study of “A Praying Life”. Don’t you love it when God brings together what you are learning in different studies, books, sermons, songs, etc? Anyway, here goes.
In the book of John, we are studying one of my favorite chapters, chapter 17, where Jesus prays for Himself, for his disciples, and for future believers. In this chapter, perhaps like no other in Scripture, Jesus expresses the love that He has for His own. He loves his own because they are a love gift to Him from the Father (vs. 6). Therefore, Jesus loves them for God’s sake, as one loves the gift because of one’s love for the giver.
Once we are given to Jesus through salvation, we are left in the world, as opposed to being taken to be with Him immediately, in order to be put on display for the rest of the world to see what one who belongs to Jesus looks like so that others might be brought to faith in Him. (“I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you.” 17:11) We’re not perfect, but we recognize that imperfection and therefore our neediness. I believe this is where the divine dance that Miller talks about comes in; out of our neediness, we ask/pray, and God LOVES to give because in his giving He gets to display to us and to those who touch our lives who He is. God’s glory is seen when in every kind of circumstance His faithfulness and power holds on to those that are His and His grace lifts them above those circumstances. Believers are left in the world for the honor of God’s name – that He, through them, may manifest His character toward them and be glorified!
This divine dance includes our cooperation as well. Miller said that God answered his prayer for Kim to speak, “but the answer was inseparable from repenting, serving, managing, and waiting. Most of our prayers are answered in the context of the larger story that God is weaving.” That larger story is that God is working toward His ultimate aim for every person that He draws to Christ and that is our personal holiness. (“Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name”. 17:11) To be holy is to glorify God who is the essence of holiness.
The chapter, Surrender Completely: “Your Will Be Done” was helpful here. Miller said that Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5, 6, and 7 is a blueprint for getting in touch with your self-will and letting God take control. He told us that once the doors of self-will that deal with enemies, revenge, putting up walls, pride, money, control and criticism are closed, “Jesus opens the door to prayer and tells you how he gets things done (7:7). He asks for help from his Father. He talks to his Father and tells him what he wants. Prayer is the positive side of the surrendered will. As you stop doing your own will and wait for God, you enter into his mind. You begin to remain in him, to abide. This is the praying life.” Here again is a picture of the divine dance; out of our neediness, we ask/pray, and God LOVES to give because in giving He gets to display to us and to those who touch our lives who He is.
Allow me to close with a quote from John Piper: “Prayer for God’s help is one way that God preserves and manifests the dependence of his people on his grace and power. The necessity of prayer is a constant reminder and display of our dependence on God for everything so that he gets the glory when we get the help.” That’s a win/win situation!!
In the book of John, we are studying one of my favorite chapters, chapter 17, where Jesus prays for Himself, for his disciples, and for future believers. In this chapter, perhaps like no other in Scripture, Jesus expresses the love that He has for His own. He loves his own because they are a love gift to Him from the Father (vs. 6). Therefore, Jesus loves them for God’s sake, as one loves the gift because of one’s love for the giver.
Once we are given to Jesus through salvation, we are left in the world, as opposed to being taken to be with Him immediately, in order to be put on display for the rest of the world to see what one who belongs to Jesus looks like so that others might be brought to faith in Him. (“I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you.” 17:11) We’re not perfect, but we recognize that imperfection and therefore our neediness. I believe this is where the divine dance that Miller talks about comes in; out of our neediness, we ask/pray, and God LOVES to give because in his giving He gets to display to us and to those who touch our lives who He is. God’s glory is seen when in every kind of circumstance His faithfulness and power holds on to those that are His and His grace lifts them above those circumstances. Believers are left in the world for the honor of God’s name – that He, through them, may manifest His character toward them and be glorified!
This divine dance includes our cooperation as well. Miller said that God answered his prayer for Kim to speak, “but the answer was inseparable from repenting, serving, managing, and waiting. Most of our prayers are answered in the context of the larger story that God is weaving.” That larger story is that God is working toward His ultimate aim for every person that He draws to Christ and that is our personal holiness. (“Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name”. 17:11) To be holy is to glorify God who is the essence of holiness.
The chapter, Surrender Completely: “Your Will Be Done” was helpful here. Miller said that Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5, 6, and 7 is a blueprint for getting in touch with your self-will and letting God take control. He told us that once the doors of self-will that deal with enemies, revenge, putting up walls, pride, money, control and criticism are closed, “Jesus opens the door to prayer and tells you how he gets things done (7:7). He asks for help from his Father. He talks to his Father and tells him what he wants. Prayer is the positive side of the surrendered will. As you stop doing your own will and wait for God, you enter into his mind. You begin to remain in him, to abide. This is the praying life.” Here again is a picture of the divine dance; out of our neediness, we ask/pray, and God LOVES to give because in giving He gets to display to us and to those who touch our lives who He is.
Allow me to close with a quote from John Piper: “Prayer for God’s help is one way that God preserves and manifests the dependence of his people on his grace and power. The necessity of prayer is a constant reminder and display of our dependence on God for everything so that he gets the glory when we get the help.” That’s a win/win situation!!
Chapter 23 ~ Praying Without A Story
Miller used the life of Joseph to show us that despite a life of disappointment, one does not have to give in to bitterness and cynicism, but, can discover the gracious heart of God and even extend grace to the ones who have harmed us. Miller recommends: “When the story isn’t going your way, ask yourself, ‘What is God doing?’ Be on the lookout for strange gifts.” He later says that when confronted with suffering, we instinctively focus on what is missing, not on the Master’s hand.
I have a person living this example in front of me. My daughter, Mary Anne, because of job related circumstances, has been living apart from Phillip, her husband of 6 years for the past four months now, and will be for another two months. I had seen her for these past months living out a Christ-like attitude, but had not necessarily heard her verbalize the heart behind it. I had witnessed her being helpful to me, to her dad, and to her brother and sister-in-law. I had seen her doing her usual exemplary job at work. I had seen her with a positive attitude, even when things weren’t necessarily going the way she wanted them to go. Recently though, we went on a walk and she shared the heart behind these actions. She is trusting God with the big picture. And, she testifies to the “strange gifts” that she sees God giving. She sees God doing a work in her and Phillip and their marriage that would not have happened had they not been in this place. She is seeing her one-on-one time with me and her dad and brother as something that, being child number three, she didn’t have a lot of growing up, and will most likely never have again.
Obviously, as her mom, it has been much easier to watch her have this attitude than if she were pining away for something that was not what God had for her right now. She has been an example to me of what it looks like to not focus on what is missing, but instead, focusing on the Master’s hand. I thank God for His grace in allowing me to watch this divine dance.
I have a person living this example in front of me. My daughter, Mary Anne, because of job related circumstances, has been living apart from Phillip, her husband of 6 years for the past four months now, and will be for another two months. I had seen her for these past months living out a Christ-like attitude, but had not necessarily heard her verbalize the heart behind it. I had witnessed her being helpful to me, to her dad, and to her brother and sister-in-law. I had seen her doing her usual exemplary job at work. I had seen her with a positive attitude, even when things weren’t necessarily going the way she wanted them to go. Recently though, we went on a walk and she shared the heart behind these actions. She is trusting God with the big picture. And, she testifies to the “strange gifts” that she sees God giving. She sees God doing a work in her and Phillip and their marriage that would not have happened had they not been in this place. She is seeing her one-on-one time with me and her dad and brother as something that, being child number three, she didn’t have a lot of growing up, and will most likely never have again.
Obviously, as her mom, it has been much easier to watch her have this attitude than if she were pining away for something that was not what God had for her right now. She has been an example to me of what it looks like to not focus on what is missing, but instead, focusing on the Master’s hand. I thank God for His grace in allowing me to watch this divine dance.
Chapter 23 ~ Praying Without A Story
One of the stories Miller tells that describes his divine dance with God is that of God not allowing him to write his book until his daughter, Kim could speak. He said, “God was determined that my hidden life with my family match my open life of ministry. He didn’t want a robust public ministry focused on love (the book) and an unfinished private ministry (Kim’s not speaking). He didn’t want the outer life to look bigger than the inner.” He shared how once Kim was able to speak with her electronic voice God began to open doors in incredible ways for his book to be written and published.
It amazed Miller that God put Kim ahead of his Son’s own honor. He said, “The Father deliberately delayed a book about the beauty of his Son for the sake if Kim being able to speak more clearly. He put Kim ahead of his own honor. I do not understand that kind of love. I guess that is what the cross is all about.”
Isn’t that just like God though, to have such compassion on hurting people? I was listening to a tape this week in which John MacArthur described this compassion of God. He pointed out that God could have had Jesus demonstrate His deity in all kinds of ways. He could have flown. He could have said “house” and there would have been a house. He could have said “mountain,” and there would have been a mountain. He could have done a myriad of things. But, what did He do? Basically, He healed people and delivered them from demon possession. What was that saying? He was demonstrating a relentless compassion toward hurting, suffering people. So much so that Paul refers to Jesus as being marked by compassion.
And, like Miller said, that is what the cross is all about. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16) Or, how about Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” The ultimate in compassion is the cross.
God knows best what will honor God and He will guide those who follow Him to do what honors Him. As we become more and more intimate with Him, our prayers will be more and more in line with the heart of God and therefore honor Him. Miller said in a prior chapter, “I find that the closer my prayers are to the heart of God, the more powerfully and quickly they are answered.” God had shown Miller what was on His heart, that it was time for Kim to learn to speak, and that it was to come before the writing of his book. Then, look at all God did to bring honor to Himself as Miller was obedient to His voice.
I want my prayers to come closer to your heart, O God.
It amazed Miller that God put Kim ahead of his Son’s own honor. He said, “The Father deliberately delayed a book about the beauty of his Son for the sake if Kim being able to speak more clearly. He put Kim ahead of his own honor. I do not understand that kind of love. I guess that is what the cross is all about.”
Isn’t that just like God though, to have such compassion on hurting people? I was listening to a tape this week in which John MacArthur described this compassion of God. He pointed out that God could have had Jesus demonstrate His deity in all kinds of ways. He could have flown. He could have said “house” and there would have been a house. He could have said “mountain,” and there would have been a mountain. He could have done a myriad of things. But, what did He do? Basically, He healed people and delivered them from demon possession. What was that saying? He was demonstrating a relentless compassion toward hurting, suffering people. So much so that Paul refers to Jesus as being marked by compassion.
And, like Miller said, that is what the cross is all about. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16) Or, how about Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” The ultimate in compassion is the cross.
God knows best what will honor God and He will guide those who follow Him to do what honors Him. As we become more and more intimate with Him, our prayers will be more and more in line with the heart of God and therefore honor Him. Miller said in a prior chapter, “I find that the closer my prayers are to the heart of God, the more powerfully and quickly they are answered.” God had shown Miller what was on His heart, that it was time for Kim to learn to speak, and that it was to come before the writing of his book. Then, look at all God did to bring honor to Himself as Miller was obedient to His voice.
I want my prayers to come closer to your heart, O God.
Chapter 23 ~ Praying Without a Story
We’ve learned much about the heart of God throughout the book, but, these last few chapters, for me, have really nailed some things. God places Himself in the story of my life because he wants real intimacy with me. That, in itself, is pretty mind boggling when I stop and think about it……God, the Creator of the universe, is interested in becoming involved in the story of MY life. Prayer is the avenue God has ordained for me to enter this divine dance with Him. All that God is doing in my life, answering prayers, not answering prayers, allowing pain, allowing ease, etc. is designed to get me to look at Him so that He can delight me by showing Himself to me.
We, on the other hand, so easily follow our parents’ (Adam and Eve) example, and don’t trust that God has our good in mind in all that He does. We, like they, so often believe Satan’s lie that God is holding out on us. Like Miller said a few chapters back, “At the center of self-will is me, carving a world in my image.” I carve a world in my image because unlike Jesus, I don’t trust God’s perfect will for my life. Undergirding all of life for us must be a willingness to accept a world made by a good and loving God.
The Author wants us to see that this good and loving God is weaving a story in our lives. In the example of Joanne, he showed us what it looks like when we don’t look at life’s circumstances through this lense. We end up bitter, angry, aimless, cynical, controlling, etc. If we participate in the divine dance that God wants to be in with us, however, in the same set of circumstances, we can be waiting, watching, wondering, praying, submitting, hoping, etc. And through it all, God will be molding us into the image of his glorious Son.
In our chapters this week, Miller puts feet to these ideas and gives us some beautiful illustrations of this divine dance with God in his own life as well as in the life of Joseph. I don’t know about you, but I thought of a couple of my own stories. It would be great if we shared some with each other this week.
We, on the other hand, so easily follow our parents’ (Adam and Eve) example, and don’t trust that God has our good in mind in all that He does. We, like they, so often believe Satan’s lie that God is holding out on us. Like Miller said a few chapters back, “At the center of self-will is me, carving a world in my image.” I carve a world in my image because unlike Jesus, I don’t trust God’s perfect will for my life. Undergirding all of life for us must be a willingness to accept a world made by a good and loving God.
The Author wants us to see that this good and loving God is weaving a story in our lives. In the example of Joanne, he showed us what it looks like when we don’t look at life’s circumstances through this lense. We end up bitter, angry, aimless, cynical, controlling, etc. If we participate in the divine dance that God wants to be in with us, however, in the same set of circumstances, we can be waiting, watching, wondering, praying, submitting, hoping, etc. And through it all, God will be molding us into the image of his glorious Son.
In our chapters this week, Miller puts feet to these ideas and gives us some beautiful illustrations of this divine dance with God in his own life as well as in the life of Joseph. I don’t know about you, but I thought of a couple of my own stories. It would be great if we shared some with each other this week.
Chapter 22 - "How God Places Himself in the Story"
As we said in Chapter 21, when we are in the middle of the desert, we feel like God is absent. In this Chapter, Miller highlights the stories of three women - 2 women from the Bible and Miller's own wife. In each story, Jesus seemed to tarry in His response to the womens' requests and need. I will let you read the stories on your own, but I want to post some of Miller's observations about why Jesus often responds to our prayers in this way.
"God permitted a difficult situation in ...their lives, and then he lingered at the edge. Not in the center, at the edge. If he were at the center, if they had had regular visions of him, they would not have developed the faith to have a real relationship with him. God would have been a magic prayer machine...
When God seems silent and our prayers go unanswered, the overwhelming temptation is to leave the story - to walk out of the desert and attempt to create a normal life. But when we persist in a spiritual vacuum, when we hang in there during ambiguity, we get to know God. In fact, that is how intimacy grows in all close relationships.
Many of us wish God were more visible. We think that if we could see him better or know what is going on, then faith would come more easily. But if Jesus dominated the space and overwhelmed our vision, we would not be able to relate to him. Everyone who had a clear-eyed vision of God in the bible fell down as if he were dead. It's hard to relate to pure light."
What do you guys think of this? For me, I think it's hard. I hate ambiguitiy and love closure. I wonder if my resistance to ambiguity limits my ability to learn what God wants to teach me and thus extends the length of time that he "lingers" at the edge. Hmmm...
"God permitted a difficult situation in ...their lives, and then he lingered at the edge. Not in the center, at the edge. If he were at the center, if they had had regular visions of him, they would not have developed the faith to have a real relationship with him. God would have been a magic prayer machine...
When God seems silent and our prayers go unanswered, the overwhelming temptation is to leave the story - to walk out of the desert and attempt to create a normal life. But when we persist in a spiritual vacuum, when we hang in there during ambiguity, we get to know God. In fact, that is how intimacy grows in all close relationships.
Many of us wish God were more visible. We think that if we could see him better or know what is going on, then faith would come more easily. But if Jesus dominated the space and overwhelmed our vision, we would not be able to relate to him. Everyone who had a clear-eyed vision of God in the bible fell down as if he were dead. It's hard to relate to pure light."
What do you guys think of this? For me, I think it's hard. I hate ambiguitiy and love closure. I wonder if my resistance to ambiguity limits my ability to learn what God wants to teach me and thus extends the length of time that he "lingers" at the edge. Hmmm...
Chapter 21 - Unanswered Prayer: Understanding the Patterns of Story (Part 3)
I love to read books. When the plot thickens, though, I'm very quick to flip to the end of the story to make sure everything works out alright. When I'm assured of a "good" ending, I can resume reading the story.
Looking at prayer as a part of life's story makes things both easier and harder. On the "easier" side, it's easier to view life's twists and turns (i.e., the disappointments and surprises) as part of the plot. It is easier to ride the storms without succumbing to despair. On the "harder" side, it is faith stretching to have to put complete trust in the author (God) to unfold the story as He sees fit. There is no peeking at the final chapter to see what is coming...
Looking at prayer as a part of life's story makes things both easier and harder. On the "easier" side, it's easier to view life's twists and turns (i.e., the disappointments and surprises) as part of the plot. It is easier to ride the storms without succumbing to despair. On the "harder" side, it is faith stretching to have to put complete trust in the author (God) to unfold the story as He sees fit. There is no peeking at the final chapter to see what is coming...
When the plot thinkens and we find ourseleves in the desert, the hardest part is that there is no way out. You don't know when it will end (or how it will turn out). There is no relief in sight. A desert can be almost anything. It can be a child who has gone astray, a difficult boss, or even your own sin or foolishness. Maybe you married your desert.
Miller encourages us that "when we don't receive what we pray for or desire, it doesn't mean that God isn't acting on our behalf. Rather, He's weaving His story... Watch for the story God is weaving...Don't leave the desert!"
Chapter 21: "Unanswered Prayer: Understanding the Patterns of Story" (Part 2)
"God takes everyone He loves through a desert. It is His cure for our wandering hearts." What does your desert look like?
Here's the process:
-We slowly give up the fight. Our wills are broken by the reality of our circumstances. Our idols die.
-The still, dry air of the desert brings the sense of helplessness that is so crucial to the spirit of prayer. Life is crushing you.
-Suffering burns away any false selves. You stop caring what people think of you. The desert isgod's best hope for the creation of an authentic self.
-Desert life sanctifies you.
-God finally gets your attention because He's the only game in town.
And finally (and this is big!!).... "A channel begins to open up between you and God. When driving, you turn off the radio just to be with God. At night you drift in and out of prayer when you are sleeping. Without realizing it, you have learned to pray continuously. The best gift of the desert is God's presence."
Here's the process:
-We slowly give up the fight. Our wills are broken by the reality of our circumstances. Our idols die.
-The still, dry air of the desert brings the sense of helplessness that is so crucial to the spirit of prayer. Life is crushing you.
-Suffering burns away any false selves. You stop caring what people think of you. The desert isgod's best hope for the creation of an authentic self.
-Desert life sanctifies you.
-God finally gets your attention because He's the only game in town.
And finally (and this is big!!).... "A channel begins to open up between you and God. When driving, you turn off the radio just to be with God. At night you drift in and out of prayer when you are sleeping. Without realizing it, you have learned to pray continuously. The best gift of the desert is God's presence."
Chapter 21: "Unanswered Prayer: Understanding the Patterns of Story"
In Chapter 21, Miller talks about stages and responses to suffering. When our prayers are not answered in the way we desire (and, in some cases, the way we think God has promised He would answer them), we end up in the "desert"- a place of suffering where our hopes are far from reality.
One response to suffering is denial. Continuing to insist that God is going to do one thing when He clearly is not doing that thing is one example of denial.
Another response to suffering is determination. This is characterized by a person's abundant effort toward closing the gap between hope and reality. "You are convinced someone somewhere knows how to fix this. By the sheer force of your will, by mobilizing prayer, you are going to make this happen...Often this determination simply adds another layer of suffering to what you are already facing."
Miller says it is a short trip from determination to despair. In despair, a person accepts their circumstances, but there is no element of hope. The tension is gone, but so is the prospect for anything positive. "Despair, in its own strange way, can be comforting, but it and its cousin, cynicism, can kill the soul."
In contrast to living in denial, determination or despair, people of faith respond to suffering by living in the desert. "Like Abraham, they are aware of the reality of their circumstances but are fixed on hope (see Romans 4:18)".
Tomorrow, we will talk about thriving in the desert.
One response to suffering is denial. Continuing to insist that God is going to do one thing when He clearly is not doing that thing is one example of denial.
Another response to suffering is determination. This is characterized by a person's abundant effort toward closing the gap between hope and reality. "You are convinced someone somewhere knows how to fix this. By the sheer force of your will, by mobilizing prayer, you are going to make this happen...Often this determination simply adds another layer of suffering to what you are already facing."
Miller says it is a short trip from determination to despair. In despair, a person accepts their circumstances, but there is no element of hope. The tension is gone, but so is the prospect for anything positive. "Despair, in its own strange way, can be comforting, but it and its cousin, cynicism, can kill the soul."
In contrast to living in denial, determination or despair, people of faith respond to suffering by living in the desert. "Like Abraham, they are aware of the reality of their circumstances but are fixed on hope (see Romans 4:18)".
Tomorrow, we will talk about thriving in the desert.
Chapter 20 - A Father's Love
I was challenged in this chapter by the way this dad prayed for his daughter. On page 177 where he says, "...I prayed that Emily would not love the things of this world..." -- I need to be praying that everyday for Brittanne. That he has prayer cards that he prays specific /systematic things for his child--there is another challenge for me...
The author's daughter Emily describes her relationship with her father and notes that,
"How my dad loved me was an example of God's love for me...this was a small picture of the love that my heavenly Father has for me." (p. 176)
"But what if your human father failed you? Some cringe when they hear the word father. How can you see God as your father if your father was distant, absent, or harsh? The good new is that our heavenly Father trumps the failures of our earthly fathers." (p. 177)
"Because we live in a fallen world, God has to use broken images of himself, such as fathers (and mothers!! added by me). In fact, all the images God gives us of himself in Scripture are flawed...The fact that we know our king or father is flawed means we know what a good father should do. Because we are created in the image of the triune God, we have an instinctive knowledge of how a father should love." (p. 178)
"If we didn't know what a good father was, we couldn't critique our own." (p. 178, credit David Powlison)
I am both challenged and encouraged here. I am challenged to pray more for my children. I am challenged to pray for different things more carefully. And I am encouraged that even though I am flawed and very imperfect, God is really good at using broken things for His purposes. He will not be thwarted.
Chapter 19 - Day 2
We want what we want, when we want it. Many times this is how we pray too. And then we think that "the prayer was not answered" because something other than what we specifically asked for happened.
Bruce and I prayed for our unborn child. He was born early, with a medical condition that will affect his entire life. Did God hear our prayers? Yes. Were our prayers answered? Yes, beyond what we knew to ask.
When, three years later, we were pregnant again, we prayed for our unborn child. He was born on time, healthy, and beautiful. Did God hear our prayers? Yes. Were our prayers answered? Yes, beyond what we knew to ask.
When, many many more years later (10), we were pregnant again, we prayed for our unborn child. He did not live to see this world but is ahead of us enjoying Heaven now. Did God hear our prayers? Yes. Were our prayers answered? Yes, beyond what we knew to ask.
"I often find that when God doesn't answer a prayer the way I wanted him to (added by me), He wants to expose something in me. Our prayers don't exist in a world of their own. We are in dialogue with a personal, divine Spirit who wants to shape us as much as He wants to hear us. For God to act unthinkingly with our prayers would be paganism, which says the gods do our will in response to our prayers.
When someone's prayers aren't answered the way they wished (added by me), I want to know the back-story. How long did that individual pray? What did God do in that person's heart when he or she prayed? What was God doing in the situation? Most of us isolate prayer from the rest of what God is doing in our lives, but God doesn't work that way. Prayer doesn't exist in some rarified spiritual world; it is part of the warp and woof of our lives. Praying itself becomes a story." p. 168
I believe God answers all of our prayers. Why is it that we only recognize our prayers as answered when He answers them the way we wish, in the time frame that we see as best? When we look back we see that He DID answer our prayer, not in the way we asked for at the time, but in a way that fit His plan more perfectly--and that grew us more.
Chapter 19 - Watching a Story Unfold
Don't you wonder what your children (borrowed children, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, or covenant children) will be like when they are grown? I do. Sometimes, particularly at times where my parenting is obviously incredibly inadequate, I simply hope that I can raise them without totally scarring them for life!!! Being a parent is the most challenging thing I do.
We are in the van (sometimes on the way to church!). Jesse yells at Brittanne (her offense may be that she is breathing), who gets ticked off and yells back at him. Jesse yells in response which sets Brittanne off again. Repeat this the length of the journey. Sometimes Brittanne asks me to get Jesse to stop and it shocks her when I tell her that I can't make him stop... he has to stop because he chooses to stop (of course, I also tell her that I can't make her stop either!!).
What can I do? I can stay calm ( I don't always), I can keep my voice quiet (really hard for me), but I can't force them to behave and be kind to each other...
I found this next part really comforting:
"It is surprising how seldom books on parenting talk about prayer. We instinctively believe that if we have the right biblical principles and apply them consistently, our kids will turn out right. But that didn't work for God in the Garden of Eden. Perfect environment. Perfect relationships. And still God's two children went bad." p. 168-9
So what are we to do as a parent? We know we don't provide the perfect environment and definitely can't claim perfect relationships!!
"Until you are convinced that you can't change your child's heart, you will not take prayer seriously. Consequently, repentance is often missing. When we see, for example, our son's self-will, we usually don't ask, How am I self-willed? or How am I angry? We want God's help so we can dominate our son. We forget that God is not a genie but a person who wants to shape us in the image of his Son as much as he wants to answer our prayers." p. 169
Do you ever see yourself in your children? I usually recognize myself in my children when they are misbehaving. They seem to have learned many of my bad habits: procrastination, temper, wanting my way, seeking to be served rather than seeking to serve... (that is definitely not a complete list, but it is all for today :) ). I often ask forgiveness of my children and have to do relational repair work due to my failings as a parent.
Sound familiar? More tomorrow.
Chapter 18
Ok, I admit it. I'm a control freak. Pastor John mentioned my kind a couple of weeks ago in a sermon. I was outted. Well, actually we control freaks out ourselves by our sharp comments and quick temper.
As I read the story by the author of his interaction with his son, it might as well have been my name and my children. And the garbage story, well that one actually HAS happened in my home. Forgetting how I dealt with those, what does God say?
God says that we are dead in our sins from the moment of conception (Psalm 51:5). God says that the only way to have life is through His Son (John 14:6). God says that doing things my way will lead to disappointment, frustration and a continuing, unquenched thirst (too many to list!). God says that He desires to make us like His Son, to live through us so that others will see Him, not us.
"At the center of self-will is me, carving a world in my image. At the center of prayer is God, carving me in His Son's image. "
And so, if we want real change, in ourselves or in the people we're with, we must expect it to come from God. Oh, sure, we can manipulate certain people and situations, but the result is temporary and is likely to be full of anger or emptiness. Lasting change--heart change--comes from God changing our hearts.
And so--prayer. Less of me, more of Him.
less of me and MORE OF HIM.
Him.
As I read the story by the author of his interaction with his son, it might as well have been my name and my children. And the garbage story, well that one actually HAS happened in my home. Forgetting how I dealt with those, what does God say?
God says that we are dead in our sins from the moment of conception (Psalm 51:5). God says that the only way to have life is through His Son (John 14:6). God says that doing things my way will lead to disappointment, frustration and a continuing, unquenched thirst (too many to list!). God says that He desires to make us like His Son, to live through us so that others will see Him, not us.
"At the center of self-will is me, carving a world in my image. At the center of prayer is God, carving me in His Son's image. "
And so, if we want real change, in ourselves or in the people we're with, we must expect it to come from God. Oh, sure, we can manipulate certain people and situations, but the result is temporary and is likely to be full of anger or emptiness. Lasting change--heart change--comes from God changing our hearts.
And so--prayer. Less of me, more of Him.
less of me and MORE OF HIM.
Him.
Chapter 17
There was a time when, like the husband in this chapter, I, too, had decided that my spouse (who, my spouse? the nicest guy in the world?) just didn't understand me. I made the bold move to buy Dr. Dobson's book What Wives Wish Their Husband's Knew About Women and was going to give it to him (Mr. I-Hate-to-Read) and ask him to read it. Well, I bought it and thought I'd read it first. I was so personally convicted by some of the things I read that I never gave him the book. Never mentioned it. He still doesn't know. Don't tell him.
Anyway, I found that the more I focused on what I wanted him to change, the more convicted I was about things in my life, and I began praying differently. My prayers were no longer "whiney." I asked God to help me be a better wife, and I chose a couple of specific things that I asked God for that would make my husband be more like Christ, not just more like my version of the perfect husband. I am ashamed to admit it, but surprisingly, God answered my prayers--not ashamed that God answered, but ashamed that I was surprised.
What I learned was not just that God desires good for me, but that that good was to be found in less focus on myself, and more focus on a desire to be more like Christ, both him and me. My prayers like this have continued over the years, and God has blessed us both, continuing to answer, because He is pleased to continue making us more like His Son. And that makes for a better marriage.
Do I have a perfect husband yet? No, but neither does he have a perfect wife. But as the author states, when we realize who WE are, and seeing the mercy that God is continually extending to us, we become thankful. "A thankful heart is constantly extending grace because it has received grace.... God poured out on His Own Son the criticism I deserve. Now He invites me to pour out undeserving grace on someone who has hurt me. Grace begets grace. This...is taking a journey into the heart of God."
My God continue to make us seek less for ourselves and more for His kingdom.
Anyway, I found that the more I focused on what I wanted him to change, the more convicted I was about things in my life, and I began praying differently. My prayers were no longer "whiney." I asked God to help me be a better wife, and I chose a couple of specific things that I asked God for that would make my husband be more like Christ, not just more like my version of the perfect husband. I am ashamed to admit it, but surprisingly, God answered my prayers--not ashamed that God answered, but ashamed that I was surprised.
What I learned was not just that God desires good for me, but that that good was to be found in less focus on myself, and more focus on a desire to be more like Christ, both him and me. My prayers like this have continued over the years, and God has blessed us both, continuing to answer, because He is pleased to continue making us more like His Son. And that makes for a better marriage.
Do I have a perfect husband yet? No, but neither does he have a perfect wife. But as the author states, when we realize who WE are, and seeing the mercy that God is continually extending to us, we become thankful. "A thankful heart is constantly extending grace because it has received grace.... God poured out on His Own Son the criticism I deserve. Now He invites me to pour out undeserving grace on someone who has hurt me. Grace begets grace. This...is taking a journey into the heart of God."
My God continue to make us seek less for ourselves and more for His kingdom.
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