Self Control - Day 5

I can run but I can't hide.  

God knows me.  

He knew that the only way I could really experience self-control is if He gave it to me.  

I don't want self-control...I want to control others (especially my husband and my children).  

That is the deal.  

It is really that simple.  

My husband is a licensed counselor.  

Think about it.     :)

  

Sometimes I wonder what the clinician part of my husband really thinks about my latest impromptu parenting strategy... or my less than inspiring interaction with him this morning!  Ha!  Over the years (25 in Feb '10), I have learned a lot from him--much of which seems to be so natural for him and sooooo UNNATURAL for me... Probably one of the hardest things for me, that he does so well, is how to 'act' instead of 'react'.  

To 'act' is to exercise self-control--to deliberately, calmly choose/decide/ask God for wisdom in how to respond.  To 'react' is to respond instinctively without a particular plan--off the cuff.  In my life often (ok, usually) this reactive behavior has had negative results (one sign of this is when you wish for a 'do over').  

How does this gift of self-control happen?  Don't we all wish that the 'self-control' ON switch could just be activated and we could sit back and 'Exhibit Self-Control'?

  

I spent all day today teaching my daughter (7) and my niece (rising 4th grader) how to work a sewing machine.  They would sew a crooked seam, bring it to me, and I would rip it out.  They would go back and sew it again.  The machine would come unthreaded.  I would rethread it (demo), then pull the thread out and watch them thread the machine.  We repeated this pattern over and over.  For hours.  By the end of the day, both girls had made a pillow and were running their machines (btw--one was a new Singer and the other was a vintage 1940's Singer) independently.  As they made mistakes, they learned how to troubleshoot the machine (how to tell if the tension was off, how to check the bobbin, etc.).  If they had not experienced problems, they would not have learned as much.

 

Practice.  Practice is key.  I need to recognize that these challenges to my self-control are opportunities to practice slowing my responses to the point that I give God an opportunity/time to intervene in/change me before I act.  

I need to pray that God would teach me to rely on His strength and power in all situations, rather than believing the lie that I can control other people/situations...  So many times I remind Brittanne that she can only control how she responds--she is not going to be able to stop a classmate from saying a rude remark.  She can, however, use self-control and refrain from saying a rude comment in return.

Father give us the desire to control ourselves.  Help us to live out Galations 5:25  "If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit."  Thank you for your wisdom.  Amen. 

Day 4 ~Self Control

See if I ever trade w/ Susan again! I feel like I've received a triple whammy the last three days. First - Susan hit one of my personal areas of weakness in the area of self-control: the computer/internet. I could research "stuff" for hour upon hour. It is my favorite activity and can quickly get out of control. Second - Terry's discussion of indulging in one's feelings and not exercising self-control over emotions hit home. I had similar aspects of my childhood. Third - Melissa posted some of my favorite verses (which, for what it's worth, I have always viewed as a non-linear, but sequential, progression from "faith" to "love"). So, since they covered it all, what's left to be said?

I have three random observations. First, I really believe that self-control is one of the fruit that, by God's grace, we can actually see ourselves improve on. To some extent, a person's disposition is either inclined toward gentleness or not, but we can all improve upon our self-discipline in both the physical and spiritual realms. Is it easy? No. Is it beneficial? Yes. See this week's memory verse.

Second, I think that one area of self-control that many women struggle with is our thoughts. This is closely related to Terry's discussion of control over emotions, but I think in many cases the lack of self-control over thoughts is what leads to out of control reactions and emotions. Haven't you ever experienced it? You have a negative thought about someone or something that has happened. You let yourself mull over that thought and pretty soon it has grown and you feel a little indignant. Before long you are downright mad (and justifiably so!!!)and that's just the beginning... Who ever thought we would have to have self-control when it comes to our own private thoughts???? (I guess God did - see Philippians 4:8)

Third, is a question. In our society self-control is not always regarded as a desireable quality (except in sports, perhaps). Most of the time we get the advice to follow our feelings and intuition, which is is contrary to Biblical wisdom. So, what are ways we can help our children and other people we influence (in a Bible study, discipleship relationship, etc.) cultivate self-control?

Self-Control ~ Day 3

"3His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
10Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, 11and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:3-11.

This passage of Scripture came to mind when pondering the fruit "self-control". In this passage Peter describes our privileges and responsibilities as Christians. Verse 3 says that the Lord has "given us everything we need". The blessings of God in Christ are sufficient for our growth. No excuses! We receive the Holy Spirit, who conforms us to the likeness of Christ.

Out of gratitude towards the Lord, we have responsibilities! Those responsibilities are listed, in no particular order, in verses 5-11. In verse 6, Peter says that we are to, "add to our knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance." Possessing self-control is one of our responsibilities as believers. Why are we to possess these qualities? So we won't be INEFFECTIVE and UNPRODUCTIVE, so we aren't considered NEARSIGHTED and BLIND, so we will NEVER FALL, and so that we will receive RICH WELCOME into the kingdom of God (vs. 8-11)! What wonderful motivation to take these responsibilities seriously.

Like Susan said on Monday, let us focus on these responsibilities, particularly self-control this week, as we memorize and meditate on God's Word!

Self-Control ~ Day 2

Self-control was not in any way, form or fashion displayed in my family as I was growing up. If you thought it, say it. If you were angry, hit something or someone. If you were sad, drown the sorrow in overindulgence. To give you a couple of examples of my personal lack of it: I was a golfer and I lost count as to how many times the person who dove in the lake to retrieve golf balls that had been hit in there also retrieved a club that I had thrown in out of anger as well. Then, on one occasion my fellow teammates at the University of Miami finally showed me the silliness of my temper tantrums when they all fell to the ground after I had missed a putt for fear that the flying ball that was sure to follow would hit them. Somewhat later, I used alcohol to medicate the emotional pain that I was experiencing. This was my “starting point” in the area of self-control (see Chris’ devo on “gentleness”) when the Lord called me to himself at the age of 38.

The Lord had already been using people and situations even before he saved me to begin to help me in this area however. One thing he used was the constant example of my husband. A mellower person you will not find. Also, with four children in five and a half years, I had better learn some self control or there is no telling what I would do to them.

So, God has had (and still has… just ask my husband) a lot of sanctifying work to do in this area. I praise him that because I am his, his Spirit is producing it in me. There is a part that I play however (“work out your salvation” Phil. 2:12). In his commentary on the book of Galatians, John MacArthur says, “…it is always possible for the believer to bear and manifest more fruit if he is receptive to the Spirit. The Spirit’s provision of fruit might be compared to a man standing on a ladder in an orchard, picking the fruit and dropping it into a basket held by a helper below. No matter how much fruit is picked and dropped, the helper will not receive any unless he is standing under the ladder with his basket ready.”

Heavenly Father, I desperately want to be like that helper, standing under the ladder with my basket ready to receive the fruit that your Spirit is providing!

Self-Control ~ Day 1

"Work is what you get done when you're not being distracted by the internet."

Steve Lambert agrees, and he created a Mac OS X App called Self-Control. Seeing how much difficulty he, himself, was having with constantly meandering from one website to another, constantly checking his email, Facebook and Twitter without even realizing he was doing it, he came to the conclusion that he needed a way to block himself from these thoughtless, mind-numbing pursuits. Self-Control allows him to pre-determine which sites he's going to block his computer from being able to access for 90 minutes at a time.

The Bible teaches that self-control in all things is not natural to us. Though different ones of us find temptation to action or inaction in different areas, we're all subject to that insidious temptation to lose ourselves to some thought or some pursuit that is less than best, sinful human nature being what it is. So we are all in need of God's gift of self-control.

David knew his need for it. He saw that storing God's Word in his heart, making it a part of his every thought, is a good way for God to grow self-control in his life. In Psalm 119:9-11, 15-16 David asks and answers his own question.
"How can can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to Your word. I seek You with all my heart; do not let me stray from Your commands. I have hidden Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You. I meditate on your precepts and consider Your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word."

Let's agree with David. Let's memorize and meditate on Scripture this week. Find one that has a particular connection to the area with which you struggle, or simply scour the Psalms for words that praise our mighty God. Ask Him for self control. Or ask Him to take away your desire for ______ completely. But most of all, ask Him to lessen your focus on what tempts you and increase your focus on Him.

And maybe buy a Mac OS X and Self-Control.

Gentleness - Day 5

I am third in my family of origin.  My first two brothers and I came rather closely together and then my younger brother arrived four years after me.  I am the only daughter.  Those of you who grew up with a "brothers only" household will understand my life.  As young children, it seems like there was always some argument happening between my brothers and I.  As the only girl, I learned to hold my own as best I could.  It wasn't pretty.  I think I got in as much trouble as any of my brothers... 

There was a clear division of labor, behavior, and expectations that was almost exactly opposite between my brothers and myself.  I helped mom (with cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. --who needs home ec class?)... they helped dad (with the yard, trash, woodpile, etc).  I was expected to be polite, loving, respectful, helpful.  The boys were expected to be these too, but when they weren't, it wasn't as shocking as when I wasn't... after all, "they were boys" and I was the girl.  For the most part, my brothers treated me no differently than they treated each other.  

My oldest brother had a good friend.  His friend was third in his family, but he had two older sisters.  I thought their brother hung the moon.  When I was around him, I was treated like a lady.  He had been raised to treat girls with respect and gentleness.  I could not understand his behavior.  I admit it-- one time I picked on him so aggressively that if he had been my brother, I would have been knocked over. I just had to see if he was for real... and he was.  This was startling to me and quite eye-opening... I had no idea that a young man could be this way.  Nothing in my experience with my brothers had led me to imagine that this was possible.  His consistent gentleness in the face of my provocation went a long way to define for me the potential of what a man could be... how a real man treats a woman.  

Like so many of the fruit of the spirit, gentleness is not seen in isolation.  Gentleness is not natural.  It is a spiritual gift that we have available to us.  It requires self-control.  There is a decision involved.  It is premeditated.  You practice it--the 'practice of gentleness'.  It is multi-faceted -- it can be expressed through a glance, a touch, a spoken word.  It is as simple as a light touch on the shoulder, or as challenging as responding gently in the midst of an unexpected personal attack.  Gentleness is universally understood--you don't have to learn a new language.  Gentleness is caring, respect, concern for others.  Gentle people are not terribly concerned with how they are perceived, but rather, how best to treat/meet the needs of the other person.

Gentleness is not weakness.  There are times of consequence and judgement.  But even at these challenging moments, gentleness can underlie the action -- we can practice being gentle. 

Father, give us the desire to be gentle.  Help us to be aware of opportunities to be gentle today.  Amen. 

Gentleness ~ Day 3

Whenever I think of the word "gentleness", I automatically relate it to my speech. As Terry pointed out yesterday, a synonym for gentleness is meekness. I, along with others who have commented and posted, unfortunately do not characterize myself as a gentle or meek individual. In fact, I am quite the opposite. My words and the way I say them, many times, would qualify me as self-absorbed. This, I admit, is what I am. I came across this article from the magazine, Marriage Today, thanks to Angie Cims. It is so clear cut and straight forward and brings me back to the lesson I am continuing to learn over and over: It is not what you say, it's how you say it.

In my marriage and among my family especially, it is so easy to justify not following this "rule". Of course they are the people I am around the most and that will love me no matter what right? Well, my words and my tone are still an indication of my heart no matter who I am with (Luke 6:45)! And my heart is to be filled with His Word so that I will be overflowing with His love and His mercy!

Marriage Today: The Heart-Tongue Connection
The Heart-Tongue Connection
Sunday, August 24, 2008 at 7:00am

“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” - Luke 6:45 NKJV

I was counseling a woman once who had been confronted by several friends and family members about her dominant behavior. She was perplexed and broken hearted concerning their accusations. As she told me the details of her situation, she tearfully exclaimed at one point, “They know what I say and do, but they don’t know my heart.”

Even though I felt sorry for her because she was having a hard time hearing the truth from those close to her, I disagreed with her comment. Her family and close friends were able to discern her heart every time she spoke to them. As Jesus said, we speak out of the abundance of what is in our hearts.

Disrespectful words mean we harbor animosity for others. Spiteful and bitter language is a sure sign of unresolved anger and unforgivingness. Prideful and insensitive speech reveals that we are self-absorbed and don’t esteem others as highly as ourselves. The bottom line is that our words reveal our hearts.

In relationships, we must understand the importance of our language and what it conveys to others. We must also take responsibility for what we say. To do this, we need to monitor our speech and let it be an indicator to us of the condition of our hearts.

An example in my own life is sarcasm. Early in my relationship with Karen, I would use sarcasm to get back at her when I became angry or frustrated with her. The problem was that I wasn’t honest and when Karen would confront me about how I was talking to her, I would deny there was a problem.

After years of doing this and being confronted by Karen, I finally came to realize and admit that every time I was sarcastic, it was because I was frustrated with her. Once I realized this, I stopped justifying my abusive speech. I also started listening much more carefully to the words that came out of my mouth. It changed our marriage.

How do you speak to your spouse and others you care about? It is telling you and them something important. Good words mean good things are in our hearts. Bad words mean there are inner problems we need to take responsibility for and deal with in a decisive manner.

Words are the lifeline of relationships. Our marriages will never rise above the level of our words. Every good marriage is the result of good communication. Good communication is the result of good hearts. Good hearts don’t just happen. They are cultivated by honest people who realize there is a heart-tongue connection.

Gentleness ~ Day 2

The Greek word translated “gentleness” here is also translated as “meek” in other places in Scripture. For instance Matthew 5:5 says “Blessed are the meek (same Greek word as in Galatians 5:23), for they shall inherit the earth.” We were told yesterday that gentleness is essentially the absence of harshness.

The quality of gentleness/meekness comes from a heart that relies on God, trusting that he is working for us in every situation and will vindicate us when others oppose us. Therefore, we do not have to get angry when things don't go as we want them to or have to stand up for our own rights when people oppose us. We see the quality of meekness in Moses. In Numbers 12, Miriam and Aaron speak out against Moses and almost immediately God vindicates his servant Moses. In between the account of Miriam and Aaron's bashing Moses and the account of God's vindication, the Bible says, “Now the man Moses was very meek, more than all men that were on the face of the earth.” Moses did not come to his own defense against his brother and sister. He committed his cause to God, and God took care of it.

God is concerned with our direction rather than our perfection. Are we relying on God when situations arise that are contrary to what we desire, and are we little by little becoming more gentle/meek? If we rely on God to let his gentleness flow through us to others, then God gets the glory for the gentleness shown. If we rely on self and gentleness is shown, then we get the glory.

Lord, no matter where I am on the gentleness scale, help me to be more so. And, in giving me the grace to show gentleness, may You get the glory!!

Gentleness~ Day 1

Ephesians 4:1-3
"Therefore, I (Paul), the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

Gentleness is essentially the absence of harshness. If you could have seen me interact with my three kids last Sunday, it would have been a great case study in "What Not to Do". They were coming back from four days at their grandparents --meaning they'd had lots of TV, treats and late bedtimes -- so I took it upon myself to reform their behavior in short order. Needless to say, my approach wasn't God-inspired and did nothing to steer their hearts toward Him. I have no trouble grasping the concept of "gentleness", but actually being gentle is a different story.

Gentleness is one of those characteristics that doesn't come "naturally" to me. Even during those times when God grants grace in this area and helps me cultivate a gentle spirit, I doubt that an outsider would actually use the adjective "gentle" to describe me. This brings me to a topic I've wanted to get feedback on since we started the theme of "The Fruit of The Spirit."

Wade and I have had an ongoing (as in 22 years long) conversation about how some people's personalities seem more predisposed to Christian qualities and whether being a Christian is actually easier for them. I can think of two sisters with similar backgrounds who are close in age and are both Christians. Yet, one is highly patient, kind, gentle, and joyful; she is the epitomy of this week's memory verse. The other struggles mightily in all these areas and feels discouragement in her walk. Is the second sister less sanctified, more willful, or does her personality just make these attributes more difficult to cultivate?

Personally, I am of the opinion that God doesn't judge people on an absolute scale, but takes into account a person's starting point. This is why there are so many warnings in Scripture not to judge others - you don't have any idea of where their starting point might have been.

Tim Keller, in his book "The Reason for God" touches on this issue when he explains why our churches should not be viewed as museums of good people, but rather hospitals where hurting people can heal. He says "Good character is largely attributable to a loving, safe and stable family and social environment - conditions for which we were not responsible." He goes on to say "It is often the case that people whose lives have been harder and who are 'lower on the character scale' are more likely to recognize their need for God and turn to Christianity."

So, I'm asking for feedback on this topic. What do you think? Be gentle, now!

Faithfulness - Day 5

God’s faithfulness is foundational to all of His attributes; for what is Love without faithfulness? We can ask the same for trustworthiness, omnipotence, omniscience, sovereignty, mercy, truthfulness, and His holiness, to name a few. Can you imagine what it would be like to not be able to trust and to count on His faithfulness every day? Which belief does my life reflect....trust or mistrust?

I thank You and praise You, LORD, that you are not man that you should lie, and that Your promises are as true today as they were when you spoke them. Your Word – every Promise - is eternal! And You Promise that Your Faithfulness continues through all generations! Praise the Name of our Everlasting and Faithful God! Please help us, Oh God, to demonstrate Your faithfulness and Your love in the ministry of reconciliation that You have given us.
(Num. 23:19; Ps. 119:89&90; Ps. 89:1-8; II Cor. 5:17-19)

Faithfulness ~ Day 4

Well, I've done it again. I've failed Him miserably.

I sit here at my computer at 2:00am having yesterday been swallowed by the darkness of my sin (there—I said it). But now, while it's still dark outside, I am enveloped by His Light. No longer drowning, but now basking in the lightness of His mercy.

Yep, He's done it again. He's proven His faithfulness.

Mercy is where I regularly see God's faithfulness in my life. When I think of what I deserve as punishment for my many sins or even just the heaviness that comes from living in a sin-filled world, I wonder why He bothers. Yet, He smiles at us. He holds back His wrath—or rather, He sees His wrath for our sin already having been exhibited at the cross—and gives us the good we don't deserve. His grace (the good we don't deserve) and His mercy (the withholding of the wrath we do deserve) being inseparable, are not just granted to us once or twice, but over and over again. We can't use them up as though there is a finite amount. Each day when we wake up and see a new beginning, we see His mercy fresh, as though it were new with that day as well, shining in our windows with the morning sun. Of course, while we slept, He didn't. He was watching over us, looking forward to showing us once again His gentle, passionate love and proving His faithfulness.

Jeremiah lamented his own sin, his own unfaithfulness to God. He knew that he deserved God's wrath. In Lamentations 3:19-23 he says,

"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions [mercies] never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."

At the risk of overkill, I submit to you the words and links to 3 songs. Their styles are different, yet their sentiments are the same. Please choose one and enjoy worship.

The first song you know well. For those who prefer the hymns, here it is sung by Selah: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpRCClg8pEY

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Great is Thy faithfulness!Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

This second song, "Smellin' Coffee" is by Chris Rice. It's a casual, upbeat song that I enjoy waking up to. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybRWDbnBLVY&feature=related

"Hey, I'm smellin' coffee, birds are singin' just outside.
Here comes Your mercy streamin' in with the mornin' light.
My heart's racin' waking up to Your smile, It's a good mornin'!

The third song by Sovereign Grace Ministries is at the top of my list of worship favorites. "Mercies Anew." http://www.imeem.com/people/hX0Ft9/music/Y3bR3NGQ/sovereign-grace-music-mercies-anew/

Ev'ry morning that breaks There are mercies anew
Ev'ry breath that I take Is Your faithfulness proved
And at the end of each day When my labors are through
I will sing of Your mercies anew

And Your mercies they will never end
For ten thousand years they remain
And when this world's beauty has passed away
Your mercies will be unchanged

Thank You, Lord.

Faithfulness ~ Day 3

I received this poem at a youth girls retreat a couple of years ago. It is an awesome reminder to me of God's faithfulness and love for me.

As Chris pointed out to us on Monday, "Faithfulness is manifested over long periods of time and so is opposite of anything 'instantaneous'."

God is the ultimate example of faithfulness. Praise Him that He is faithful, always has been, and always will be.


Because I Love Her...

I made her...She is different. She’s unique.
I fashioned her with great joy.
With love, I formed her in her mother’s womb.
I remember, with great pleasure, the day I created her. PSALM 139:13-16
I love her smile. I love her ways. I love to hear her laugh and see the silly
things she says and does. She brings me great pleasure.
This is how I made her. PSALM 139:17
I made her pretty and not beautiful, because I knew her heart,
and I knew she would be vain...And to learn that it would be Me in her
that would make her beautiful...And that it would be Me in her
that would draw friends to her. 1 PETER 3:3-5
I made her in such a way that she would need Me.
I made her a little more lonesome than she would like to be...
Only because I need for her to lean and depend on Me.
I know her heart, I know if I had not made her like this
she would go her own chosen way
and forget Me...Her creator. PSALM 62:5-8
I have given her good and happy things...Because I love her.
PSALM 84:11 and ROMANS 8:32
Because I love her I have seen her broken heart and the tears she
has cried alone. I cried with her,
and had a broken heart too. PSALM 56:8
Many times she has stumbled and fallen alone,
only because she would not hold My hand.
So many lessons she has learned the hard way
because she would not listen to My voice. ISAIAH 53:6
So many times, I have sat back and sadly watched
her go her merry way alone,
only to watch her return to My arms, sad, and broken. ISAIAH 66:2
And now she is Mine again...I made her, and then I bought her...
Because I love her. ROMANS 5:8
I have to reshape and remold her...To renew her to what I had planned
for her to be. It has not been easy for her or for Me. JEREMIAH 29:11
I want her to be conformed to My image...
This high goal I have set for her,
BECAUSE I LOVE HER. II CORINTHIANS 2:14

Faithfulness ~ Day 2

In his commentary on the book of Galatians, John MacArthur says, “Faithfulness is the manifestation of the fruit of the Spirit that pertains to loyalty and trustworthiness.” He then goes on to describe God’s faithfulness and Christ’s faithfulness and finishes by saying “The ‘servants of Christ, and stewards of the mysteries of God’ are to be like their Lord in being ‘found trustworthy’" (1 Cor. 4:1-2).

There is not much (I dare say nothing) as rock solid as the ground of God’s faithfulness. The entire word of God is a testimony to it. When I think of passages about God’s faithfulness that give encouragement and hope, I have to put close to the top, 1 Corinthians 1:7-9: “Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.”

The idea that the God of the universe is faithful towards me boggles my human mind, especially when I think of how faithless I am towards him most of the time. But, 2 Timothy 2:13 says that even if I am faithless, he will remain faithful because he cannot disown himself by being unfaithful. This means that if I belong to him, he will keep me from stumbling (turning away) and present me faultless in the end. Jude 24

God’s faithfulness towards me motivates me to want to be faithful towards Him and others. I want to be like Christ in His obedience to the Father. By grace, like Paul encouraged the Philippians to do in his letter to them, my life’s aim is to continue to work out my salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in me to will and to act according to his good purpose. (2:12, 13) It is because of his faithfulness that I can even begin to be faithful to him and others!

Faithfulness ~ Day 1

Kennedy Smartt gave a talk recently in which he highlighted a book entitled "A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society" by Eugene H. Peterson. I haven't read the book, but the title itself conveys the essence of today's "fruit" - faithfulness.

Faithfulness is manifested over long periods of time and so is opposite of anything "instantaneous". I am constantly aware of how blessed I am to live in and among a large group of "faithful" followers of Christ. These people are characterized by their commitment to living in accordance to God and His word over the long haul. They do not vacillate back and forth in their commitment based on how good or bad things are going at the moment --a way to live that is in stark contrast to the modern era's recipe for life.

It takes maturity (as in # of years lived) to recognize the fruit of faithfulness. The biggest blessing of turning 40 was to have my eyes opened to the outpouring of blessings that can be achieved individually and collectively through our faithfulness to Christ. Our church benefits from the year after year faithfulness of our church leaders. I benefit from the year after year faithfulness of my parents. We benefit as a community from the year after year faithfulness of many of our community leaders. I benefit from the year after year faithfulness of my spouse.

The fruit of faithfulness is harvested over the long term. And, as we know, the greatest inhibitor to faithfulness is discouragement; it is easy to become discouraged when the harvest is so long in coming. Ironically, perhaps, the only antidote to becoming discouraged is increasing our faith in God Himself. For me, hearing other people's personal stories (and recalling my own)of God's faithfulness motivates me to stay the course and trust in the one who remains perfectly faithful.

Lord, help me to be faithful and stay that way!

Goodness - Day 5

Galatians 5:22&23  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.  Against such there is no law.

Haven't you been surprised at the list of fruit of the Spirit?  I have.  I wondered this week, "Why goodness?"

I read a book last month (the curious incident of the dog in the night-time by Mark Haddon which is a work of fiction).  The following is an excerpt from that book which is written totally from the perspective of an autistic boy:

"19.  Chapters in books are usually given the cardinal numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and so on.  But I have decided to give my chapters prime numbers 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13 and so on because I like prime numbers. 

This is how you work out what prime numbers are.

First you write down all the positive whole numbers in the world.  Then you take away all the numbers that are multiples of 2.  Then you take away all the numbers that are multiples of 3.  Then you take away all the numbers that are multiples of 4 and 5 and 6 and 7 and so on.  the numbers that are left are the prime numbers... Prime numbers are what is left when you have taken all the patterns away.  I think prime numbers are like life.  They are very logical but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them." 

Part of the difficulty in writing about the fruit of the Spirit, is that the qualities (in human expression) are so easily understood & experienced --  A child can explain what goodness is...they know when they experience kindness...  But, when a believer looks at the goodness of GOD, His goodness to us, it becomes something that is so pure, so transforming, so eternal, so absolutely undeserved, it blows our minds.  

I think the Fruit of the Spirit are the "prime" characteristics of God.  Could every attribute of God (mercy, wisdom, etc) contain these characteristics in some form or combination?  They are so simple, basic, essential--but so rich, so vast in meaning.  

Only God is good (Mt. 19:17).

Good things only come from Him (James 1:17).

Goodness is a fruit of His Spirit available to us (Galations 5:22 & 23).

Goodness~Day 4

I’m recalling a favorite praise song:

God is so good, God is so good,God is so good, He’s so good to me.

He answers prayer, He answers prayer, He answers prayer, He’s so good to me.

I was teaching a lesson to First Graders this past year on the attributes of God and the letter for the week was “G” for Good. Mark 10: 18b told us “No one is good, except God alone.” And Psalm 145:9 said “the LORD is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made.” Ummm… I had to do some reflecting on that before teaching the lesson.

I thought about all the “good” and “goodness” God has given to me in creation. The variety of trees, flowers, animals, people, music, food, books, choices, senses, oh, and yes, forgiveness of sin and eternal life. It all comes directly from Him because it’s His creation and His goodness to me, to us. Even when something happens that I don’t consider “good”, it’s at His direction and I can trust Him completely. We have HISTORY together!

“Good” is a simple word and we use it every day. “That was a good book, a good movie, a good cup of coffee, a good meal, a good hike…” So, do I remember to thank the one who gave it to me? Sometimes.

But, what about “goodness” in me? It’s one of the Fruit (outpouring, results, harvest, benefits) of the Spirit, that as a believer, I’m to exhibit as I abide in Him, yes? Of all the fruits, this one might be the hardest to get a handle on. I understand much more about God’s goodness (lots of references in Psalms). But my “goodness”? Okay – I need to be good to all types of people – all kinds (I have a hard time with this on occasion). If God is going to do it, and I’m made in His image, well…there you go. How about being a good steward of my gifts, my money, my abilities, my time, my physical, spiritual and emotional self. I think perhaps I’m just getting started…thanking Him for His goodness to me and my family consistently.

Okay, your turn.

When asked who would be at the head of the table in heaven, Billy Graham’s reply was, “You won’t know them.”

“God’s goodness is the root of all goodness; and our goodness, if we have any, springs out of His goodness.” William Tyndale

Goodness ~ Day 3

We are to model our lives after Jesus'. Jesus' entire life on earth may be defined as "good" and "perfect". I came across several Scriptures that define Him and the Father as such...

Psalm 34:8
"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."

Psalm 86:5
"You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you."

Psalm 119:68
"You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees."

Matthew 19:17
"'Why do you ask me about what is good?' Jesus replied. 'There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments.'"

John 10:11
"'I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.'"

God is good. He is constantly displaying His goodness. As Terry wrote on Monday, "goodness" can be defined as, “character energized, expressing itself in benevolence, active good.” Goodness is an action. We can only be like Christ through "keeping in step with the Spirit" (Galatians 5:25). Therefore, we can only display this fruit, "goodness" through keeping in step with the Spirit.

I have always loved the imagery of a tree and its fruit in Matthew 7. I am a tree. My roots grow down into the ground. My growth and the fruit I provide depend on the soil I am planted in and the amount of sun and water I get. If I am rooted/grounded in the nourishing soil of Christ and His Word, and I rely on him as my source of sun and water, then I am more likely to be a "good" tree that bears "good" fruit! God's goodness is more likely to shine through me, the bearer of good fruit!

Goodness ~ Day 2

Our focus is the Fruit of the Spirit—the characteristics that God grows in us as a result of His Spirit living in us. To be able to recognize those fruits growing in us, we have to know what they look like in God. I found several things from this site to be helpful to my understanding of His goodness. http://bible.org/seriespage/goodness-god


God's goodness is the balance to His power. Tyrants are only powerful, but God's power is tempered, maybe even defined, by His goodness.

I'm reminded again of the description about Aslan from Mr. and Mrs. Beaver. They were surprised that the Penvensie children did not know of Him. The Beavers said that He was "a lion--the Lion, the great Lion."

Susan asked, "Is he—quite safe?"

Mrs. Beaver answered that "if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else just silly."

"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.

"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver….Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."


David reminds us over and over to "Give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever."

In Psalm 23, after describing how God cares for us like a shepherd giving us what we need for food, for comfort, for discipline, for safety, for abundance, David concludes with, "Surely [with a certainty] goodness and mercy will follow me [chase after me] all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."


And like Peter Pevensie who, after he learned of the great Lion, said, "I am longing to see Him," we, too, long to see this mighty, good God Who finds His Own glory in finding us and lavishing us with His goodness.

You may enjoy this Michael W. Smith song that we do on Sunday nights sometimes entitled "Forever." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7Bh0b3-JAg

Goodness ~ Day 1

Once again, I would like to give the definition that I found in Zodhiates’ dictionary for this week's fruit, “goodness”. I find it helpful because it has been difficult for me to distinguish between some of these fruits of the Spirit. Zodhiates defines what the NIV calls “goodness” as, “character energized, expressing itself in benevolence, active good.” It seems that there is more activity in this week’s fruit, “goodness” than last week’s “kindness”. He also says that the Greek word here “does not spare sharpness and rebuke to cause good in others. A person may display his zeal for goodness and truth, in rebuking, correcting, or chastising. Christ’s righteous indignation in the temple (Matt. 21:13) showed His goodness, but not His gentleness.” It seems to me that this definition can be summed up by saying that “goodness” is acting towards another with their best interest in mind. That may include doing the hard thing such as telling the truth, in love.


I didn’t grow up with a sister. But, God gave me three daughters that I enjoy watching be sisters. One thing I have noticed about sisters is that they can be painfully honest with one another while loving one anther. In the case of my three daughters, two of them tend to say just how they see things, while the other one tends to say more what she thinks others want to hear because of her desire to please and be liked (she’s gotten much better as she’s gotten older). I remember when they all lived at home and on occasion I would want to get their opinion as to how an outfit looked on me. Depending on the answer that I was looking for determined which daughter I went to. If I really wanted what was “good” for me, I would go to one of the two that would tell me just how they saw it. If I wanted to hear a positive response, no matter what, I would go to the other daughter.


Training children is similar. Doing the hard thing such as discipline and consistency, the “good” thing, rather than giving in and not being consistent, or the easy thing, is a tough choice. But, if we want to do what is in their best interest, we must often choose the hard thing. Many times it is not the thing that causes us to be liked at the time. It’s like getting the children inoculations to prevent disease. You know that it is going to cause the child physical pain, but you know in the end it is what is best for them.


I often confess as Paul confessed in Romans 7:19, “For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.” But, then I cry out and ask for the Spirit to manifest His goodness through me!

Kindness - Day 5

My office is upstairs. The office window is not too much lower than the treetops. During the spring and summer I keep two hummingbird feeders full of sugar water hanging just outside the window (one on each side) and I can see the birds close up. You would think that with two feeders, both feeders would get empty at the same time... but nooooo, one feeder is more popular (cuter design?), and when it is empty, the hummingbirds then go to the other feeder. Each feeder has 4 perches, but do the hummingbirds drink at the same time? noooooo, they zoom over from the trees and dive bomb each other to be the one who gets to the feeder first... They compete with each other every day all day.

I am not really surprised by the behavior of the hummingbirds. It would be shocking to see them taking turns, sharing the feeder, letting the latecomer drink first, being kind to their fellow hummingbirds...

Isaiah 54:7-8 says: "'For a brief moment I forsook you, But with great compassion I will gather you. In an outburst of anger I hid My face from you for a moment, But with everlasting lovingkindness I will have compassion on you,' says the LORD your Redeemer."

In thinking about how to write about kindness this week, I began by considering what is the greatest obstacle to kindness. Why is something so simple (kindness) so hard? I first thought, pride is the issue. For me to be kind, I have to be humble... I have to look out for the other guy first... Pride can definitely play a part, but consider another obstacle...

In James Kimmel's book, Suing for Peace, Kimmel asserts "... at the root of every terroristic threat and every deliberate act of violence (opposite of kindness) lies a misguided attempt to find happiness by pursuing justice..." What does he mean by pursuing justice? It means trying to make everything, in the end, be fair--believing that once things are fair that we will be happy. Kimmel says that, "the pursuit of justice is the primary cause of human suffering, not the antidote..." He sees pursuing justice as an addiction as serious as any narcotic addiction. He wonders, " What if the pursuit of justice is evil, not good?" (or maybe, what if a job God is responsible for is toxic for us? Heb. 10:30-35)

So what does he say for us to do? Kimmel encourages us to pursue unjustice. "The best times I ever had as a lawyer--the times when it seemed both my clients and I were the happiest, and when our happiness endured--were the times when I was able to convince my clients that the best thing to do about a dispute was to make amends with the other side as quickly as possible and forget about the whole thing. No demands, no threats, no lawsuits. Either repay the debt or forgive it. Do whatever it takes to end the dispute, even if you receive nothing in return."

What would it be to teach our children unjustice?

Kimmel continues, "How could this accomplish anything? Because my clients who tried it always received something unexpected and of far greater value in return --they received peace and happiness. I was so stunned by these revelations that I began to test them in my personal life to see whether I was understanding things correctly... The more I used my skills as a lawyer to obtain justice against my wife, family, friends, and the people with whom I did business, the more unhappy I became. Conversely, the more often I compromised with these people, the happier I felt. And I felt happiest of all when I didn't fight the battle in the first place. I felt peaceful and content when I didn't chase the guy who cut me off in traffic, when I didn't chastise the rude waiter, when I didn't try to win the argument with my wife."

There is a link between kindness and not seeking fairness. I don't think we can actively pursue justice and pursue kindness at the same time... Kindness leads to compassion, forgiveness, freedom from bitterness, peace.

Don't you like to watch couples who have been married a long time and still obviously love each other? You know the ones: he still opens the doors for her, she still looks up at him, smiles and thanks him, he ushers her into her seat first... We see their love for each other through their kind actions toward each other.

We are instructed to be kind to one another (Eph. 4:32, II Tim 2:24). We are taught that love is kind (I Cor. 13:4). The much lauded wife in Proverbs 31 has (v. 26) "the teaching of kindness on her tongue."

Kindness.

 

Jesus, help us to be kind.

Kindness ~ Day 4

As I was looking up info on kindness, I came across the website http://www.actsofkindness.com/ where they quoted from Allan Luks' book The Healing Power of Doing Good: The Health and Spiritual Benefits of Helping. I imagine these aren't news to you, but I thought I'd include the first two points on their list to remind us:

• Helping contributes to the maintenance of good health, and it can diminish the effect of diseases and disorders serious and minor, psychological and physical.
• A rush of euphoria, followed by a longer period of calm, after performing a kind act is often referred to as a "helper's high," involving physical sensations and the release of the body's natural painkillers, the endorphins. This initial rush is then followed by a longer-lasting period of improved emotional well-being.

I also read an article (see link below) that stated, “A face–heart connection evolved as source nuclei of vagal pathways shifted ventrally from the older dorsal motor nucleus to the nucleus ambiguus. This resulted in an anatomical and neurophysiological linkage between neural regulation of the heart via the myelinated vagus and the special visceral efferent pathways that regulate the striated muscles of the face and head, forming an integrated social engagement system.”

Ewww. Headache.

I think that means that there's a physical connection from our hearts to our smiles. Although the authors credit evolution, this scientific revelation serves well to reinforce God's truth when He told Solomon that "a merry heart doeth good like medicine" (Proverbs 15:22).

I like seeing the infinite ways in which God weaves a tapestry of His truths in our lives. How neat to see not just the obvious—that being kind helps others—but also that being kind helps us. He made us to benefit physically and emotionally from this humble act of putting someone else first.

Thank You, Lord.

http://genes2brains2mentalhealth.wordpress.com/

Kindness ~ Day 3

Proverbs 12:25
An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.

Proverbs 14:31
He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.

Proverbs 19:17
He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward him for what he has done.

Luke 6:35
But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.

1 Corinthians 13:4
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

1 Thess. 5:15
Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.

2 Timothy 2:24
And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.

One of the things that comes to mind when I think of the word “kindness” is customer service. In order for a company, restaurant, school, etc. to thrive, their customer service policies must focus on kindness. This is one of the many reasons I just LOVE Chick-Fil-A! Not only do I love their food, but their customer service is amazing. I can honestly say that I have never had an unpleasant experience there.

A story of their kindness…One day, a couple of years ago, before Chick-Fil-A started accepting credit cards, I was standing in line to order. I was behind two men. One of them placed their order and the cashier rung him up. She politely told him his total and he went to hand her his credit card. Then she said, “I’m so sorry sir, we don’t accept credit cards.” He told her that he was so sorry, but that is all that he had, he had no cash, and that he was going to have to cancel his order with them. Without hesitation, the cashier told him that he wasn’t going anywhere! She said, “Please don’t worry about it. We would love for you to stay for lunch on us! If you are ever in the area and can stop by and pay, that’s fine. Otherwise, just remember for next time that we don’t accept credit cards.”

Wow! Talk about kindness. That’s something you definitely don’t witness every day! As many of you know, the owner, Truett Cathy, is a strong Christian. And you can see it in the ways he runs his business and the ministries he is involved in. What a witness!

I will always remember that day. I will always tell that story to people. It was a very small thing that stands out in my mind as so huge. I will always love Chick-Fil-A and always support it, especially because of this instance. A little kindness goes a long way!

God’s Word does not ask us to please be kind to one another if we feel like it. It COMMANDS us to do so. Romans 11:22 says, “Consider therefore the kindness and sternness of God: sternness to those who fell, but kindness to you, provided that you continue in his kindness. Otherwise, you will be cut off.” It’s pretty simple. I am to be kind, not only in my actions, but in my heart.

I don’t own a restaurant chain, but I do encounter lots of people, believers and non. I am to be a witness wherever I go. I am to display kindness, just as Jesus did.